The Midnight Watch

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S'a hammerin'.

#1 2013-07-30 12:29:54

Egbert
S'a hammerin'.
Registered: 2013-05-16
Posts: 218

The Demise of Hoagie...?!

[OOC: This is not necessarily canon, just one of the many ways in which Hoagie Grayner, Captain of the Covian Army, may have met his demise.]

Hoagie paced around the workshop, mopping his brow with a dirty rag before throwing it on the ground. The situation had gotten steadily worse. How long before the undead ravaged Cove? The larger population centres were falling to chaos, and it was only Cove's relatively remote location that had spared it from the worst of the madness.

He was confident, though. He'd save the day, he always did. He made a few notes on a scrap of parchment, took a swig of his ale, and turned to his invention. He'd done it now. With this, Hoagie Technologies would keep the undead at bay. He pulled the sheet off his creation.

    "Meeeeeehhhhhhhhh!", the goat bleated.

He paused to admire Goatbow Mk. II. He'd done the impossible. A huge improvement over his wildly successful Goatbow, he did what the others said was madness. He'd succeeded where they said he could not succeed! A goat with a crossbow attached to both sides, he'd created Cove's first unmanned, multi-target, mobile ranged unit.

He laughed, thinking of the glory that his creation would bring after it saved the world. His laughter stopped when the goat's eyes gleamed with a hint of menace behind their usual glazed dullness.

    "MEEEHHHHHH!"
    "Steady, girl", he cooed at it. "Easy. Big day ahead of you."
    "MEEEEH!" the goat replied angrily, striking a hoof against the wooden floor, stirring dust.
    "Steady!" he bellowed as the goat charged towards him, head ramming into his gut.

He fell backwards, crashing into the counter and causing tools and parts to clatter to the floor. At the telltale mechanical click sounded from the direction of the goat, he looked up, eyes wide. The goat stared gormlessly for a moment, and then both bolts flew free. He was left with only a split second to regret leaving Goatbow Mk. II loaded before the bolts hit him, and his regret faded to darkness.

The ale bottle dropped from his now limp hand and rolled across the floor, coming to rest on an old copy of the original Goatbow poster.

    Fast as a goat!

    Accurate as a goat!

    Deadly as a goat!

    Hoagie Technologies proudly presents...

    The Goatbow!

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#2 2013-07-30 13:01:48

Delfer
Member
Registered: 2013-05-18
Posts: 93

Re: The Demise of Hoagie...?!

This is now the officially accepted lore.

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#3 2013-07-30 20:34:05

Linaeus
Administrator
Registered: 2013-05-16
Posts: 124

Re: The Demise of Hoagie...?!

We're going to start telling stories about how Torrak's greatest rival defeated himself with a contraption known as the Goatbow.

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#4 2013-08-16 01:55:19

Victoria Morgan
Member
Registered: 2013-05-26
Posts: 8

Re: The Demise of Hoagie...?!

LOLOOOOOOOOOL! Oh gawd, I am in tears from reading that! lool

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